


I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

by teacuphuman



Series: 2016 Inception Kink Bingo [6]
Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Longing, Multi, Multiple Partners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 15:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7647160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacuphuman/pseuds/teacuphuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Arthur’s ever wanted is what Mal and Dom had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Multiple Partner's square on my Inception Kink Bingo card, which I took great liberties with and got all melancholy.

All Arthur’s ever wanted is what Mal and Dom had. At first, he made the mistake of thinking he wanted it  _ with _ them. One could hardly blame him, and Mal hadn’t, when he’d confessed. He’d been terribly young, barely an adult when they’d scooped him up and brought him home. He’s been in love with them for longer than he can remember, and even now that Mal’s gone, the pull he feels toward them, toward what they were, is hard to resist. 

 

He spent the better part of his twenties searching. Men, women, sometimes both at once, but no one sparked a fire in him. He’s spent weeks and months getting to know lovers, trying to uncover whether or not they fit alongside him, to no avail. He’s been yelled at and apologized to, left with no explanation, and even once, served a restraining order. Often, he’s the one to leave first. As soon as it becomes clear that the other person isn’t the one, he can’t bring himself to carry on.

 

He’s been with people on every continent, but nothing came close to what he saw between Dom and Mal. They made love look like a work of art. Rich and complex, layered with emotion and strife. Arthur envied the ease with which they fought, like a flame burning hot and quick, only to reconcile hours later, stronger than before.

 

A few times Arthur thought he’d found real love. He met Sarah the year he turned twenty. She was tall, and loud, and called him on all his shit. On their four month anniversary she told him about the baby. Six weeks later she miscarried. Arthur was heartbroken and relieved, and so wrapped up in his own guilt and grief that he had nothing left over for her. It’s one of his biggest regret, that he hurt her like that. Abandoned her when she needed him the most. Forced her to be the one to walk away so he didn’t have to shoulder the blame.

 

By the time he met Amir, Arthur had matured some. Philippa's skin was still dusted with soft, dark hair, vernex lingering in the creases. Mal was tired and so full of joy. Dom was a basketcase, walking around in a daze, goofy smile on his face. Arthur’s heart was fit to burst at how complete they felt in that moment. When he got home from the visit he went on and on about the baby, only three days old but already forged in his heart. Amir listened, smiled politely, then told Arthur he had no interest in ever having children, and maybe they should talk about that. Arthur knew enough by then to walk away.

 

A long string of relationships that went nowhere turned into the occasional one night stand that left him feeling hollow. Arthur decided he was too busy to date, and most people wouldn’t put up with the kind of life he led anyway. He met Jeffrey in dreamshare when he was twenty-nine, falling hard and falling fast. They weren’t perfect in the way Dom and Mal were, but Arthur got the feeling that, given time, they could be. 

 

When Mal jumped and Dom ran, Arthur had no choice but to follow, He left Jeffrey, heartbroken and angry, unable to understand Arthur’s loyalty to someone other than him. He walked away from the man who could have been the love of his life. Walked away from their apartment, their art collection, and their cat. A small part of Arthur thought Jeffrey would understand, he was in the business, after all. Arthur was wrong, but at least Dom had the decency not to mention the bruises.

 

After Fischer, Dom walked away with barely a glance and Arthur’s heart broke all over again. He ached for a connection, something to anchor him now that he didn’t have to be afloat, always running, always looking three steps ahead of Dom’s unhinged mind. The love he’d known was dead. The one thing he’d spent over a decade chasing was finally revealed to him and it was rotten. Poisoned by the imbalance that had seeped into their marriage when Dom thought it was his job to influence Mal’s path. To govern her direction in life. All of sudden, Arthur was afraid of that kind of love. He feared giving so much of himself to one person that they thought they owned him. Thought they could change him. Thought that they should.

 

Arthur took a year off, bouncing from place to place, scratching items off his bucket list, and trying to forget the place inside himself that still longed to be part of a whole. Arthur learned to be alone. He remembered how to trust himself again and to see the value in the things that brought him pleasure. He learned to cook, and to dive. He ran the Boston Marathon in under three hours.

 

The second job he took after his return brought him back to Paris. It didn’t look any different, though Arthur felt like it should. The smells were the same, so was the skyline. Even Ariadne and Eames were the same when Arthur walked in on the first day. It was kind of like getting the band back together. 

 

Ari hugged him tight and Eames offered a sincere smile, both causing Arthur to choke up a little. He’d missed them. Missed feeling like he belonged somewhere, like his contribution mattered. Eames was more tactile than Arthur remembered, but he didn’t think anything of it until the forger had him pinned against his hotel room door, one hand on Arthur’s jaw, the other on his ass, and Arthur figured, why not? It had been a hard few years, and he was done with denying himself what he wanted. 

 

Eames had always been there, in his peripheral view, brilliant, and quick, and a little too sharp. Eames laughed when Arthur told him that, said it was exactly how he’d describe Arthur if anyone asked. But a funny thing happened on their journey into morning. Eames treated Arthur like he was a puzzle Eames was dying to solve. Like he’d waited for years to get Arthur to where he could take him apart and see what made him tick. Like Arthur counted for something. Like Arthur mattered.

 

Arthur found himself giving away little pieces of his life. Slowly, he let Eames in, finding himself delighted and gratified when Eames returned the favour. It didn’t happen overnight, and it certainly wasn’t easy, but in time, Arthur remembered why he had so longed for a love like Dom and Mal’s. He started to bend, not to Eames’ will, but in an entirely new direction, Eames curving faithfully at his side. They grew together, over the years, changing in their own ways, but always keeping each other in sight, lest they stray too far. They spent years trading tidbits of themselves like magpie’s hoarding baubles, until Arthur knew Eames almost as well as he knew himself. Arthur woke one morning beside Eames, rested and content, finally having found what he’d been looking for.


End file.
